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Birth Promises and Expectations


Birth, Whether it is a vaginal birth or a belly birth (C-section) it will bring us to our knees. Whether it was 3 hours or 65 hours, it will change our psyche. Whether it was orgasmic or traumatic, it will tear us in two. From who we were to who we are becoming. ⁠ Birth is Birth. It is unpredictable, out of our control, wild, intense, intimate, and strangely enough the exact experience we need to have to learn something deep inside us. ⁠But for many women, as I have heard the last few months, we give birth, and then we have nowhere and no one to share the journey, the story, or the experience with. Because for some there are still questions or a missing puzzle piece, and unanswered queries. And for many, they just want to be seen or heard. Witnessed in their glory or the chaos of what just happened. ⁠ Birth stories should not go untold. Pregnancy and postpartum stories should not be forgotten. So many of us say, "I wish I had known!" But how can we know when so many of us can't share our stories because of pain, or confusion, or shame. ⁠This is what we have had for thousands of years women, our stories! And it is our stories that can heal us, guide a new mother, and create community. If you have given birth and want help processing the experience I am here for you. Book a session today.

If you are about to give birth or wish to give birth one day, one of the best ways to prepare for it is by Clearing Out Promises and Birth Expectations. As a first time birther, no matter the number of books we read, podcasts we listen to, birth classes we attend, we will still be inexperienced birthers. It's the hard lesson we learn when the first contraction hits us. We may have been promised that the day we give birth "will be the most amazing day of our life.” This may be true for some but this is not true for many women’s birthing experience. If we believe this to be true and it does not happen we feel guilt or shame. Something might be wrong with us or how we birthed. Other Promises we have been told depending on the culture we live in: "Birth is orgasmic" "Birth is painful" "Woman's bodies are made to give birth" "C-sections are easier and safer" "Birth is traumatic for the baby"

These are absolute statements. And absolute statements set birthing women up to expect one or the other. Yes, women's bodies are designed to give birth, but these statements don't take into account that every human body is unique and come with their own agenda too.

When we pinpoint the promises or expectations we have been told about birth we can begin to filter through what we know we need to carry with us and what can be left behind.

Journaling Exercise:

-What is my earliest memory of my own birth story being told?

-What is my earliest memory of what birth was?

-Growing up how did friends speak about birth or pregnancy?

-What has my Gyno or doctor said about my body or vagina or pelvis?

-What do I believe to be true about birth?


What were some of your birth expectations?

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©2018 by Kelsi Ludvigsen.

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