“The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.” #ClarissaPinkolaEstes
I believe self-care is a door. It’s a vulnerable act because we are constantly told to never slow down and to always be productive. And if we have these messages running through our system every day, then taking time for ourselves will feel overindulgent, selfish, and a “waste” of time. Especially as a mother.
The moment I took taking care of myself seriously was the moment I trusted my mothering self. The moment I stopped doing the things mass media told me was “self-care” and that would make me feel better and I started to do things I actually enjoyed, was the moment I became the mother I knew needed to be and I started to care for myself. I focused on the things that filled ME up. Because spoiler alert we all have different needs! I found the essentials and eliminated the rest. The more self-mothering we do with ourselves the more mothering we can do with our children. We make hundreds of choices a day, what to feed when to put down for a nap, when to say no and when to say yes. We can’t feel strong or empowered in our choices if we are pouring from our empty cup.
Fill your cup first.
I fill mine with:
-Sleeping until 7:30 am (my partner takes the mornings)
-Nature every day
-3 meals a day. I need food to keep going!
-A minimum of 30 min where I can do ANYTHING I want every day. This doesn’t mean when my partner takes my daughter out that I clean dishes or start a load of laundry or pay an invoice. That can wait. I nidra, nap, watch a favorite episode, or read a book.
-I roll with tuneup balls or do some stretches
-Chocolate. A small daily bite of quality chocolate always fills my cup.
Make it bite-size and accessible. Every life stage or life experience is going to ask us to refine, find the new essentials, and eliminate the rest. Again and again.
What are your essentials?